who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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