she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
