this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
