I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Can vaginas get frostbite?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Randomize
