all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
