I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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