I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
