Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
