Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
