Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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