I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
