Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
