don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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