Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I wish they made helmets for livers.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
