There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
