OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Randomize
