8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Randomize
