what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
It's shark week go big or go home
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
