So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize