Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
