Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
