found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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