I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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