Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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