he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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