Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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