I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
