What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize