Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
