I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
