he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
