I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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