I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize