your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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