All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
