well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Randomize
