I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
