2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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