I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
