He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize