did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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