When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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