Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
