So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just googled if crying burns calories
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
