Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
