her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
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