I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
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