What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
