How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
