marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
