just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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