Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
