We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize