She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
