If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
