normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
