You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
