I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
