BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
