dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
