do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
